Failed blog attempts I've had in the past couple of weeks.

My inspiration is DRYING. Since I've been back at college I've turned into one of those knobheads who reads Blake, Milton and Wordsworth (in a 100 year old poetry book) on public transport to try and broaden my knowledge - and if I do decide to listen to music it's going to be something that Pitchfork Media gave 10/10. I've cut my fringe so that it goes above my eyebrows and I set myself little targets like "remember in chronological order the dates of all the English monarchs" - yeah whatever. Essentially - I'm turning into a pretentious dick.  In this back-to-college-showdown (as I like to call it) I've tried, and failed at numerous blogs that just haven't been very good and up to my usual bog standard(GETIT), so here is a list (because I love list blogs) about what I've tried and failed to give you. Enjoy (probably not).

 
 Things my mum does in an attempt to ruin my happiness forever
My mum is a bit odd. When we went on holiday to Cornwall she put my boyfriend on the spot and asked questions like "So, I know you hated me beforehand - but dya like me now?" and then pressured him into giving a detailed answer - it made two hours of my life awkward. She also does these weird little things in an attempt to make me paranoid and hate myself like "Oh Holly, your legs are a bit pale, don't you think you need some fake tan? People will think you're made of paper" I didn't feel self concious until you mentioned that people cared that I'm white like milk. This blog was going to be a list of things that my mum has said/done to me in the past to make me hate myself - I didn't do it because I sounded all "ohhhhhhhhohohhoh mummmy issues :((:((:(:"

 

What the future holds for little Joe McElderry

I spent such a long time writing, deleting, redrafting this blog. It failed so many times because I felt guilty talking about little Joe and how he's going to become a heroin addict. He won't, I was just talking about how he's so vunerable because his first single was the first x-factor single not to get Christmas number 1 since the late 70s and that he's gay (like anyone even cares). But yeah, I scrapped this one because I felt bad for his little face, I did include the picture of what I think he'll look like in 20 years though.

 

What Lady Gaga will do next

In brief - she'll marry a film director and for some reason she'll never age. She'll adopt some black children and have some real children that are just like her but a bit miniture. This was a joke about how she's like Maddonna but I scrapped it because I don't know enough about Maddonna... or Lady Gaga

How to blog and have hundreds of teenage fans
 This was written on a day when I was feeling low and crushed because loads of people have poorly written boring blogs about clothes or material possesions and have thousands of views and hundreds of followers. It was just me going "YEAH BUT YOU'RE BORING" because I was jealous of the attention their blogs get in comparision to mine. I scrapped that because it was shit.