I've been in full time education for thirteen years now and throughout my life I've probably had over 50+ teachers, infact I could probably list them all for you. I won't, but that doesn't mean I couldn't. Anyway, it occurred to me the other day that teachers aren't real people- which is why when you see them in Pizza Hut with their (suprisingly attractive) spouse it's always so confusing - it's basically a loophole in the fabric of reality. Seriously though - teachers are all walking stereotypes, so if you fancy a career in Education, you better pick one of the stereotypes and stick with it.
The one who never teaches you anything apart from facts about themselves.
Now, I'm not going to name any teachers in this, but in this case - lets call this teacher Angelina. Teachers like Angelina spend the first term telling you of their academic achievements "I'm the cleverest person in Austria" "I've been in teaching for 18 years even though I'm 30" and "Seriously, I know virtually everything there is to know about this subject, so ask me something". You are initially impressed with their achievements, but three months before the exam, you'll look at your sylabus and realise "wow I don't know any of this" and then when you question Angelina on how to answer your exam paper, she looks at you blankly, like a scared student on the eve of a GCSE French oral exam before telling you about the time she met Sean Bean. You sigh and resign to yourself to January resits.
The quiver in your boots and oh my god if I don't learn this I might get a panic attack - inducing sort
This is probably going to make me sound really lame, but do you not get that teacher who you have every couple of years who youre terribly scared of, and maybe if you don't understand something you DON'T ever say you just google it when you get home. You do all your work, and extra because his/her steely gaze is like death on a Monday afternoon when you haven't done your reading. A simple disgusted look in your direction on a Thursday morning is enough to make you hate yourself and doubt that you're even worthy of living. All this fear is good though - these teachers are usually the best at what they do.
The one who tries to be all weird and hippy-like
These ones are a lot like the teachers who try to be all hip and down with the kids. Basically they really go out of their way to intimidate you with their quirky personality and hi-larious anecdotes (that are actually just a bit annoying). Usuaully they'll customise their teaching uniform to something crayzay to make themselves seem more interesting, for example fluroescent doc martens with a frumpy tweed dress or soemthing. Either way, these teachers are bad bad people.
These ones are a nightmare if you're a nerd. "ALL I WANT TO DO IS LEARN" is what I thought during school when the crazy kids were jumping around pretending to be apes and telling the teacher to "Shut your trap Sir!" (I went to Warneford) and making paper aeropleanes and calling them "D Cameron". Well yeah, there are certain people that shouldn't go into teaching, if some kid at school has ever tried to steal your frube at lunch and you LET them, then this career path isn't for you.
