how to suppress boredom and COME ALIVE !

Someone told me once that the English language is one of very few that has a word meaning bored'. That means that everyone in English speaking countries are spoilt, lazy and generally just a bit dickish.
I am currently situated in Kent, which is in England. The language I am currently typing in is (hopefully) English. This means that I am spoilt, lazy and a bit dickish. or something. This intro really isn't going very well is it? No.


Write a life plan

This is my life plan, from when I was bored a minute ago (ie. right now)
I want to graduate, but refuse to wear one of the stupid hats. Then I'll cry a bit and then I'll get a job. Then I'll cry a bit more. Then I'll get a wife. Then I'll father 8 children from 9 different sexual partners. I'll go on Jeremy Kyle. Then I'll cry on Jeremy Kyle. Then I'll die on my sofa in my sleep.
There, 30 seconds of boredom annihilated. 


Make some eggs

I don't mean chicken eggs, or duck or dinosaur or David Cameron eggs - I mean try making your OWN egg. Like, try laying one. When I was younger, I used to say "he made an egg" instead of saying "he let some wind go" - I don't mean that either. I really want you to get some cardboard, glue some shell or shiny plastic to it and create a tiny egg. Maybe make friends with it, call it Mandy, take it on holiday, do whatever you want, it's your egg.

Tidy up! 

ha ha, not really.

Research some chat-up lines 

So that next time you see or talk to someone you think is quite nice you don't insult them, give them a fake name, tell them that their hair looks stupid, call them a wanker or ask them what type of tail they'd grow if they could. (all being true) and also so that you have someone to harass via text.

. Here are some good chat up lines that I made up myself -  

• Hello, I drink Jack n Coke. 
• Do you use window washer to clean your underwear? "why" Because I can smell vinegar.
• Hey baby, is your name Fred Flintstone? "No, why?" Because you're fat and you look stupid.
• How do you like your eggs? Do you want to meet my egg? She's called Mandy.
• Hey baby, did you hurt yourself when you fell from heaven? because you look kinda mutilated.
• Do you want to see some photos of my cat?
• Do you believe in love at first sight? No me neither, it's corny and stupid and I hate everyone.
• You've been running through my mind all day. Your arse wobbles when you run, go on a diet.
• Was your dad a terrorist? "no" because you're the bomb. also you look kinda evil and mentally unstable.

WRITE A REALLY SHITE BLOG