1. The first bed was invented in 500AC in Florence, Italy - or as it was then known - Bedlam - by a man called Guiseppe Bedrik.
2. If you tip your bed over to the side and put it against your door, it makes a really good shield from zombies.
3. If you're unlucky enough to get bedbugs, get a fat person with loads of sugary blood to sleep in your bed. They'll drink his/her blood and die.
45. If you don't have a bed, you can make one using a sack and some hay. If you don't have hay then you could just use back hair or any other furry alternative, like roadkill.
9. A good mattress should last you forever, much like a good washing machine or a good haircut.
5. Some beds are illegal and have drugs stuffed into the mattresses. If you have a child who sleeps too much, then rip apart their mattress to make sure it's not stuffed with heroin.
1. Metal beds are ideal for goths, whereas divan beds are ideal for those who would probably be in hufflepuff if they went to Hogwarts.
83. Silk sheets are good for arthritis and social diseases.
2. Spilling tea on your bed is an omen - it means that you might get a disease one day.
1. If you sleep for less than 10 minutes per night, then you're 8x more likely to develop magical powers.
