ways to be exiting this christmas

Once when I was about 9 I wrote a christmas list in August, it went a bit like this:
1. An akwarium
2. some angle fish (I used to want angel fish so bad.I was obsessed by them, I had DREAMS about them and stuff. weird)
3. hamster
4. harry potter poshun set
I remember showing it to my dad and he reminded me of that Jesus story where he smashed up some stalls inside a church and said "how dare you sell things in my dad's house without a license" or SOMETHING and concequently I hid the letter and ripped it up incase Jesus saw it and smashed up my bedroom. It's kinda weird thinking about that when my family aren't religious in the slightest and I haven't even been christened, but ANYWAY, this year for christmas I'm not wanting an aquarium or some fish or a hamster (my cat would eat it) and no potion set for me. This christmas I want a nice dinner, a student rail card and perhaps for my cat to stop being sick on the carpet and making me late for social occassions.
I'm either
a) Boring
b) Getting old.

It can't be b) because I'm 17, and I'm still four months away from being 18.

So it must be a) the fact that I'm boring.

In an attempt to make myself un boring, I'm going to make myself a list of things to help you (&myself) have a more enjoyable and CrAzY christmas time (DONT LET THE BELLS END).
1. Go to a an actual new years party instead of an awkward gathering of a couple of people that you don't know very well shuffling about to Paramore and Justin Bieber.
2. Drink all christmas drinks out of mugs/jam jars and when people ask why, tell them it's because you're really kooky and crazy.

3. Instead of getting people Soap & Glory giftsets from Boots make them some cakes with extra swine flu and lung particles. They'll appreiciate the thought and effort and by eating them, a tiny part of you will always be with them.
4. Say "Happy christmas" and "merry new year" to frighten and confuse your friends and enemies I've always wanted an enemy, instead I just have people I want to punch in the face and say "I'M BETTER THAN YOU, BITCH" but I wouldn't ever do that because I'M BETTER THAN YOU. Anyway, doing this tricks people into thinking that you think differently and that you are breaking out of social norms, which will make you seem like some sort of revolutionary thinker. Also try chips and fish, dad and mum, custard and rhubarb, coke and vodka, Cher & Sunny...



 < arent they similar?


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