From watching these films or hearing about these people who won't ever. fucking. die. I now have a PRETTY good understanding on how to live forever. I won't EVER die, and neither will you if you follow all of this information which I'm about to tell you.
Eat a doctor, have loads of children and use their organs
Next time you go to the Doctor, go prepared. Take with you a load of poison darts and a scalpel. Dart the doctor until he or she passes out. Next, scalpel out their brain and eat it. Now you have all the knowledge of a doctor. Honestly, it works. It's science.
Now you have to persuade another person of the opposite sex to do the same. Next, breed. Eight or so children should suffice.
NOW, if one of your organs fails, cut the healthy, working organ out of your son or daughter and get your mating partner to operate on you to put it in. Repeat until you're Frankenstien and you're still alive in 2010030 years. Thank catsandknitting, win an Oscar, go to tesco and buy some milk. You genius.
Cut out your soul and put it in a tree to create a SPIRIT TREE
If you're not very good with blood, and eating a Doctor's brain doesn't really appeal to you, then you could always try creating a SPIRIT TREE. All you have to do to create a spirit tree is put your soul into a tree. Which is easy (just sneeze on a tree without covering your nose and don't say 'bless you'). Maybe you'll fall in love with another spirit tree and have tiny tree babies. This is a good plan, providing angry people who love concrete don't try to chop you down. but it's okay, this is why we have greenpeace.
Drink orange juice
This slightly creepy looking child has got it right. Drinking orange juice means you will never die. Ever. It is true. It's full of vitamin C (?) and it tastes good and it's the same god damn colour as the sun. The sun gives us life - and by drinking orange juice you're drinking the sun and in turn drinking the ELIXIR OF LIFE.
