how to turn eighteen successfully and without dissappointment.

I recently turned eighteen. Depending on how old you are, you're probably thinking "eighteen! Pfft I turned eighteen years ago" OR "eighteeen! I can't WAIT to turn eighteen, a whole other world will be open to me!". Either way eighteen is finally the age where you are able to stop having to get your older friends to buy you wine and instead your younger friends start pestering you to buy them wine.


Constantly tell your parents that you're about to get married

Guaranteed to be the most fun you'll have at turning 18, telling your constantly angry parents that you're eloping with your 21 year old boyfriend whom you've known for scarcely two months is destined to be full of hilarity. Try jazzing it up with "it's fine mum, I'm an adult now! I can elope with whoever I want!" and "I know I've only known him two months, but what is two months in comparison to a lifetime" OR EVEN "I've already spent £2000 on your credit card on a big fat greek gypsy wedding style dress!" I've already had one wild evening of fun in this style - so now it's your turn.



Ask shop assistants if they want to see your ID constantly

 Even if you're not buying age protected products. Buy some baby food (even if youre not a baby) and maybe a flump and ask them if they need to see your ID. Hopefully they'll look confused and hurt and this is the best reaction you're gonna get. of course they don't need to see your ID. They might laugh at you - but if they do this you can just say "fine i'll take my business elsewhere" and then they'll get an arse whooping by their manager. Who's laughing now? 
also - ask for a double vodka coke without the vodka in a pub. they'll be so confused.


Voting for the first time

There won't be a general election for a long time sadly but when you finally are able to vote - waste your vote by voting for the monster raving loony party. That way, you won't have to educate yourself about the parties and read through manifestos to decide who you'll actually vote for - you know monster raving loony party won't get in  - you'll be exercising your rights as an over 18 british citizen but not wasting any time so you're still able to fit in telling your parents your wedding plans and buying baby food into your tight schedule.

 Buy a copy of the film SAW but cover it in "My Little Pony" stickers so it looks exactly like a my little pony DVD and give it to a tiny child. heheheheheheehehhehe